Norbert the bearded dragon was getting bigger. Already he had shed his skin six times, he ate all his veggies like the big dragons and he no longer fit inside the little log in his cage like he used to.
It was exciting to be getting bigger, but also made him sad sometimes. Like when he wanted to hide in his log, but not even his head would fit.
One day when Norbert was staring sadly at his log, the hands from the sky swooped down and picked him up.
“Time for a cage cleaning, Norbert.”
Norbert didn’t mind. This meant he got to go hang out with one of the other bearded dragons for a while.
“Hey, Gary!” Norbert called as he was put into the cage of the dragon who lived across from him. Gary didn’t say anything, he was busy basking. He just opened one eye, looked at Norbert and went back to sleep. Norbert decided to make himself at home and went for a stroll around Gary’s cage. He’d only been in there once before.
Along one side of Gary’s cage, near the end, Norbert spotted a log much bigger than his own. He decided to check it out. He fit perfectly inside. It was nice and cool and a perfect place to hide.
“Hey, nice log you got here. Do you use it much?”
Gary didn’t say a thing, he didn’t even open his eyes. Norbert decided to rest as well and dozed off inside the log.
He was soon awakened by the voice from the sky.
“Norbert! All done.” The voice was not fooled and picked up the log with Norbert in it then tilted it until he came out. “You are a very dirty lizard, you know that? And stinky. You are going to need a bath.”
Norbert had no idea what a bath was or why he needed one. He thought he smelled good, like a dragon should.
He was whisked off to a room he had never been to before. It was very white and smelled strange. The hands from the sky set him down into a big white bowl then reached over to turn a shiny metal handle that made it rain down on him. The rain was warm and wet and he did not like being wet. He tried to run away but the white bowl was too slick and his claws couldn’t get traction.
He tried the other side, but again it was too smooth.
The hands from the sky began splashing him with water which made it worse. He did not like this bath thing at all. He decided all he could do was to freeze, close his eyes and hope it ended soon.
“Don’t worry, Norbert, I’m almost done. It’s sort of fun, don’t you think? You should try swimming.”
Norbert refused to move or open his eyes. It was not fun. He did not want to swim.
Soon he felt himself being lifted out of the tub and felt a soft cloth beneath him.
“Alright, mister, all done. You are nice and clean. Let me dry you off.”
Norbert did not want to be dried off, he just wanted to go back to his cage, but the hands and voice from the sky did not seem to understand. He figured there was one way he could show his disgust with the whole bath idea.
Norbert picked that moment, just as he was dry, to push out a big, stinky poop. This, he was sure, would tell the sky monster to never do this to him again.
“Oh no! Gross, Norbert,” said the voice from the sky.
Norbert felt pretty good about himself as he was lifted from the towel. Finally, he could get back to his heat lamp and napping.
“You will have to go back in the tub so we can get you clean again.”
No! Thought Norbert, who wished he knew how to speak the language of the sky monster. All he could do was freeze, shut his eyes and hope the torture ended soon. He should have known by now that pooping was no way to solve problems.
Luckily, this time the bath was shorter. Norbert froze stiff until he was finally clean, dry and placed back into his own cage. He hoped this bath thing would not occur every time he needed his cage cleaned. He made a mental note to keep his cage and himself tidier. As he looked around his now cleaned cage he spotted something different, a bigger log replaced his too small one. He was ecstatic and ran to it, climbed through it and then on top of it to warm up under the heat lamp. The bath had made him a little cold. As he felt himself getting toasty, he began to doze.
“I noticed Gary never uses that, so I figured you would enjoy it more.” Norbert heard the voice from the sky say as he drifted off to sleep. Norbert dreamed of logs and of a world with no baths.
If you would like to read more Norbert stories, check out Norbert Verses the Vegetables then check back here again soon, there are more in the works.